when words fail me, which is often, I paint. When words work for me and are available on time, I am surprised.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Itchy Bitsy Bikini

OK, yesterday was my 34th birthday and yes I have suffered from dyslexia for several years now and I might just be lying in case any of you are thinking about stealing my identity.

How could you really? I am not always sure who I am or why I am here so how could anyone else portray the forever Changling, me? How?

So for my happy birthday, Tate bought me a very large cabbage, serious, it's what I asked for. I got a few flowers and phone calls too but I didn't get the card with the check for ten dollars that I usually get on my birthday from my grandmother, because she was in the hospital having her gall bladder removed. They admitted her on her birthday, her 87th. I told her she needed to pick a better party spot, she agreed.

Last night I dreamed one of those terrifying flying over the snake infested swampy lawn but this time there were O-Possums too (GROSS). The snakes have been here alot lately and so have my murderous behavior dreams and I spare you all the details because whenever I tell my sons or Tate about them, they get a bit upset. I guess it is disturbing to hear about your mom or wife ripping someones testicles off with your bare hands in self defense and or slitting throats with razor blades over and over again. So I will spare you and suffer these realms on my own, don't worry it's fine.

I also dreamed that a family member discovered he had scabies. That is always disturbing. I awoke itching in a bikini line all across my waist and legs and it extends into my belly button and down my thighs.

Thank you Kramer for the Chigger Bikini, love it. Now, where did I put that stash of Benadryl?

I am out of town for a few days, like the majority of you. I will miss you. Back soon, have happy holidays(even if you , like me, do not believe we as a nation are very independent after all).


TOM said...

I too will be away, I'll get one more post in but I'll celebrate something..I totally agree with you on the independence thing, Hope your Grandma is doing well...that's a tough operation , for women in particular and at her age! Peace

Jerri said...

Sweetie, I know you can handle dreams like these, but I'm concerned for you. Why so many right now?

Oh, and Itchy Bitchy Bikini may be the best post title ever. Ever.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your Grandmother. I hope she is feeling better.....I am with you on our country and independence, dreams are always trying to tell us something, as you know...keep writing about them, have a good trip. Take Care.

123Valerie said...

My darling Stacy, I'm so glad you got a chance to relax!

I'm sorry a bit late with the birthday wishes, but I have no doubt you celebrated in a righteous manner, hot lady!

The thought of scabies makes me itchy. Blech.

Michelle O'Neil said...

Happy Birthday!!!!

Laura said...

Happy Belated Birthday, Stacy! I turn the big 3-4 this year, too! (next month). Hmm. We're either bizarro world twins (which are always seperated by a month or so) or I'm trying to steal your ID. Bwahahaha!

Hope your grandmother is doing OK! My great-aunt sends $10 (sometimes in cash!) and my grandmother has gradually worked up to $20 for birthdays. Wow! :)

I'm itchy, but from mosquito bites. I always water my plants at the worst mosquito times of the day. Save water by preventing sun dryoff, but maybe I should save my skin, instead?

I had a creepy dream about a Muslim extremist trying to kill a woman, but having the tables turned on him, as first, my college friends and I trapped him in a pink "containment dress" but then it turned into a movie I was watching with my college friends, then had to leave before the conclusion, and was annoyed because I never found out what happened, but I had a feeling it would be violent, as there was talk of severed heads and such, so I didn't want to really know. Shrugs. My mind is weird.

I also dreamed that my sweet kitty, who disappeared a couple of days ago returned, followed by a dozen little kittens. I remarked to Hubby in my dream that I guessed she wasn't really spayed after all when we adopted her, but that was why she'd disappeared, and I was so happy to have her back. Sigh. One of those dreams I wish were true.

Stacy said...

I really want to show you the lovely hotel we stayed in but when I click on post, I get an error message that I have invalid tags? WTF?

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Happy belated!