when words fail me, which is often, I paint. When words work for me and are available on time, I am surprised.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Best Poem Ever

As I lay in my bed, with my eyes closed
As I am drifting off to sleep
I compose the most beautiful poems in my head
I assure myself I will remember them
and write them down on paper in the morning
But I never remember them, unlike my dreams
Last night
I wrote the best poem ever, in my head
my lovely little head

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Hit and So What?

As I was walking into my shop this morning an unenlightened individual was backing into a parking space, in front of the shop. The driver was not looking out for pedestrians and I was not looking for cars to back into me as I passed the line of view. The car hit me, I swear it was surreal. I felt it touch my side and I slammed my fist down on trunk of the car and yelled "Jesus Christ". I know I should not shout the Lord's name when I think I am going to die, or should I?
The driver, a late to middle aged woman slammed on her brakes, then proceeded with her parking job. I stood, staring at the car from my front door. There was an elderly woman in the passengers seat. We all made eye contact. I thought they would say something, like, are you okay or I didn't see you, something. . . but no. They parked the car, walked down the street to the store and I thought it was all very strange. And then!
The old passenger baglady walked into my shop and asked how much a mans haircut would cost. I told her as I looked at her incredulously, it would be 15.00$.
She said, "the lady who used to cut his hair (her husband)moved away, she only charged 8.00$."
"So what" Thats all I had to say.

BTW, I happen to know the local lady who cut hair out of her house, no overhead who charged 8.00. She's a hack, always has been and isn't anymore because she had to move and get a real job where she could have benefits. She is not cutting anyones hair for 8.00 anymore. So what.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Absence Excuse

Please excuse Stacy from her absence from Blogger since Friday, September 21. Stacy and her mate were in desperate need of R&R, they went camping . . . at an historic hotel /resort... in the mountains... they ate caviar and Salmon, and scrumptious feasts for every meal. They slept like bears deep in hibernation. They lit the fire in the gas log fireplace in their log cabin, with the flick of a switch. The over-sized bath with jacuzzi tub, the wrap around porch with wooden rocking chairs and benches... overlooking the spring fed lake...the perfect fall weather, the clear blue skies...
Camping just does not get any better than that. It just doesn't.

For those of you wanting to hear some of those stories, from Midwifery school on the border, like the time I pre-paid a man to watch my babies while I was at the clinic three 24 hr. shifts plus per week, who took my money but failed to show up to our apartment in the morning. I saw his sketch years later on America's Most Wanted. He was involved in a mass murder (3 or 4 people) (does that make a mass murder?),at a bowling alley in Las Cruces NM. He didn't have me fooled for a minute.
I am gathering, but once again off to job number 3 for the day before I can go home.
More later.
I miss you all and happy Equinox, hooray!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

In and Out

One day you're in, the next you are out.
I am not talking about the in and out of favor of the Hollywood type, but of the desire to attend women in labor. I began studying Midwifery when I was 18 years old and pregnant with my first son. My mentor and favorite midwife of all times, lived down the dirt road from me. I lived in a 12X12ft. cabin with no indoor plumbing. I studied everything I could get my hands on. I talked about births with Meg O and would attend seminars and weekend workshops but I needed to get to births other than my own.
By the time I was 23, I was the proud single welfare -mother of two babies. I had no child support, no job skills and no real family close by. I wanted to move closer to my family, but I did not want them to see how "unsuccessful" I had become.
Giving birth to two beautiful healthy boys was not good enough, you know, I am Jewish, I needed to be something. Someone educated, to be respected, or so I thought.
I applied to one of those grueling midwifery apprenticeships on the Mexican border. Midwifery boot camp.
Six months, no sleep. Six months, 55 births and my 2 year old son forgot who I was. He only recognized me (if I was able to escape the compound for more than an hour)by the reaction of his brother. His older brother, he was four, would shout with unquenchable excitement, "MOM-MOM" whenever I could get across the border to visit.
It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Hardest on my heart; but it was also one of the most spectacular and rewarding. It seems strange but those births, the women the babies, the other apprentices, the border, all amazing.
I still attend the occasional birth. I no longer have the ability to give birth myself. I sometimes assist women with pre-natal instruction and hypnosis for birthing.
I recently decided to become more active in the birthing community and like I say, one day you are in, the next day you are out.
It's a dangerous game in today's society. Persecution, comes from three sides of the fence. Do I trust the women of our current society? The pious and the litigious? And then there are the midwives with their economic competition and their push to be able to be legal, licensed by the board of medicine, accept insurance and medicaid, without paying in to the system. Third side, the Doctors and the CNMs who have to cease attending births and loose all that money because they cannot afford the malpractice insurance; they cannot practice without it by law. But the Midwives can practice now, if they comply and pay the Board of medicine.

I received a call the other day, a woman due to have her first baby in April. Elation.
You're in, you're out.MY website has been updated by a pro

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Dirty Little Secret

I am Laundering Money. Now You Know, my dirty little secret. Shhh!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

My Re-Worked Version of THE KISS

and what a kiss it was. . .

Friday, September 07, 2007

Re working Girl

Thank you for your comments, those of you with good taste in art, on my post Rave On.
Thanks to you who held your comments as well. I can't help it if you haven't an eye for art, if it is art, after all.
Anyway, I am hanging the last two pieces today. It's been a few years since I've had a show, so I guess it's a sign I am not dead yet or some kind of change.
I sent pictures to two of my most respected artist friends and asked their critique on "MMNNN" or my version of "The Kiss".
Georgia P. said the mask effect of the woman disturbed her.
Tate thought I made him look fat(he is the man in the painting). I didn't care what he said. After I nearly got into fisty cuffs with him over his comments he admitted he knew nothing about art and if I kept pressuring him he was going to buy the poster of the dogs playing cards.
But I trust Georgia. I re-worked the woman's face, and a few other spots as well. I attempted to make Tate look trimmer. He still doesn't get it. What can I say? He doesn't know art. I will post a picture of it tomorrow (thank you for the spelling lesson Jerri).
Until then, have a look at Good Morning Mr.Tom.I love him, he stumbled onto my blog and I am tickled to meet him, virtually that is.

Thursday, September 06, 2007


Sometimes I receive exactly what I had been wishing for, and then I want something else.
Is there a name for this phenomena that so completely torments me? And no, it isn't always "stuff" so don't say greed, I think.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Oso Grande

No time to post but I had to tell you; I saw a huge black bear on the side of the road this morning. On the winding country road, up on the poke weed covered hillside, she was right there, about ten feet from my car. I stopped and looked at her, I am pretty sure she was a she. She had a silly, curious expression and she rose up on her hind legs and looked me in the eye. I said, "hey there, bear". So fabulously cool. I think it's a good omen.