when words fail me, which is often, I paint. When words work for me and are available on time, I am surprised.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Shark Number 22


Enough of the spontaneous snow art, I actually painted on canvas during the storm. This is a painting of Tate showing off his 22nd shark catch of the day over the Thanksgiving holiday. We were on the beach in the Outer Banks. The sunset behind him was truly difficult to believe. It is acrylic on canvas, 16"x20". (I have almost used up my case of 16x20s and am eager to move into another sized box).

Monday, December 21, 2009

Snow Angels and Goddesses, and Spontaneous Sculpture

We've had a bit of snow. more than 20 inches actually. I know it is a common occurrence for you northerners, but not us. I don't even own a pair of snow boots.
 

Tate is not the goddess I speak of, I made her out of snow (she's up there). 

Tate made a snow angel, he was naked as a jaybird when he made it, maybe a little tipsy as well. 

 
Posted by PicasaNeither of us had anything to do with the rock sculpture sporting a penis, hanging mighty low though- mighty low. The muses entertain, no?

Friday, December 04, 2009

Grandpa's Farm


Grandpa died a few weeks ago. I have been going through old photos and found several versions of the little boys in the little boat with Grandpa, fishing in the pond behind Grandma and Grandpa's house. There has been one picture in a frame on a shelf for years and I never realized before how the passage of years could be noticed in the numerous versions of these pictures. Boys age 4 and 6, 10 and 12 etc. They are both wearing their favorite blaze orange hoodies in this painting and are maybe 5 and 7 years old. Beautiful memories of boys and Grandpa, we miss him.

Maggie's Masquerade


Maggie's Masquerade, 2009. Acrylic on canvas 16"x 20"

This is one of my favorites, from a picture of Isabella/Maggie S. our friend. The setting is an enormous Chinese emporium in Manhattan. I can't remember the exact name of the place but the word Pearl is in it. Could have stayed there for days and not gotten a chance to see everything. The colors and the lanterns and the light, yummy.

September McGee

Another amazing artist I found this morning. September McGee

Friday, October 30, 2009

Stacy and Tate's Room at Arles


Acrylic on board. 18"x12"

Jesus Van Gogh


Jesus Van Gogh. Acrylic on board, 12"x12". I entered him in a high stakes painting contest. You can vote for me by clicking on a star under one of my paintings, if you haven't already. Thanks for your support.VOTE

Monday, September 14, 2009

Praying Mantis Boy at the Beach


I know he may be furious with me about the title but I could not help myself. This acrylic on canvas painting of my most skinny adorable son at the beach is 16"x20"on canvas. NFS

Friday, September 04, 2009

Feeding Geese


This acrylic on canvas piece is 10"x12". It is a color study which I am quite pleased with.There is a mystical quality to the little boys in each environment.
Those little boys are 20 years older than the model photo boys now. In the mid 1980s these little boys moved into the most secure home they had ever lived in all their 5 and 3 years. We were on the edge of a corn field and one morning were awakened by a cacophony of wild geese honks. Wiley still in his crocheted night cap grabbed a bag of cereal from his Uncle B. and planted himself in the middle of the flock and threw handfuls. Little brother Avi walked around the edge of the excitement,not too happy to meet birds which were as tall as he was.
Remember it as if it were yesterday

Naked Sunday


On a naked Sunday, a woman works in her poppy garden.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Lottery Gods


The voice came to me as Tate brought me my coffee in bed. It wasn't my birthday or anything he just knows bringing me coffee is the only way to get me to wake up. I am known to sleep through house fires.
As I rose to wakefulness a dream announcer in an authoritarian male voice said "If you were born on July second, today is your day to win the Lottery."
I was born that day!
I told Tate.
"Good, I'm getting tired" he said.
Later that afternoon I drove into town to get the air conditioning fixed in my car. It had not been working for two of the hottest weeks of the Summer. While the mechanics examined my fairly new vehicle I walked to the store to purchase the winning lottery ticket.
At the check out I checked my numbers for the 150 million dollar powerball which played two days before.
I hit it! The powerball, yes number 43 was the winning powerball number and I had chosen it on the correct day. I also hit one other number out of the 5 in the sequence. I won
Three dollars.
Funny Lottery Gods, funny dream announcer.
Oh, the air conditioner in the car, they fixed it. The nice mechanic showed me where the ON button was. "Ms. Sheer,the air conditioner runs nice and cold, ...After you turn it on"
Who knew?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Haunted House


This painting is 16X22" acrylic on canvas. The image of the ghostie in the window is from an actual photo of an abandoned house on a country road. I stopped to take its picture and when I was close enough I saw an old shredded night shirt hanging inside in the glare of what appears to be an open back door of the house. It was eerily disturbing and I almost left it out of the painting but couldn't edit a force like that out.

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Holy Man


The Holy Man by Susan Trott, a gem pulled from the shelves of our local small town, underfunded library because it had not been checked out in a year. Lent to me by a friend who is in the loop at the library.

"All Joe wanted for the world was more kindness, less ignorance".

Friday, July 10, 2009

Sidewalk Chalk Guy

I know we have seen some of these before but I think some are new. Worth seeing again though. Edgar Muller

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Birthday Calls


It's my 44th birthday, Tate and me are driving seven hours to Pennsylvania for his family reunion. Usually our road trips begin before the crack of dawn but not this one. Tate had a quick business meeting early and we were in the neighborhood of the baby whose birth I recently attended so we stopped in to (wake them up) say hello, and. After a few hours on the road Tate's phone rings. “Don't answer if you don't know who it is” he orders. I look.
Ring- ring- Oh, its Wiley I realize out loud.
Hey Mongo- happy birthday he says, I bet I am the first to call.
Right you are , you always were my favorite son I assure him.
I know , I am sure Avi will call, he's probably still asleep.
I agree with him and we chat a bit and love you too. . . bye.
Further up the road nearly an hour passes and now my phone is ringing. Hi Avi.
Happy birthday he sing songs in a falsetto voice. I'm the first to call aren't I ?
Actually no,your brother already called me.
What? Wiley? Uggh, mom I thought of it first I just woke up and besides I took the day off from work in commemoration of your birthday.
Wow, really? You must love me more. You always were my favorite son.
I know.


At least they remembered the day, after all they are males. Speaking of males and birthdays and remembering dates and other oxymorons of the sort, I realized T had no idea today is my birthday somewhere into our first few hours of our day. I told myself I was not going to enlighten him. I would wait until his baby sister mentions my birthday (she-always remembers) in front of him later tonight when we get to the reunion. Its kind of like keeping a secret which although I can , it is hard for me. Really hard.
I make this inner promise to myself as he is putting gas in the truck and I am sitting in the cab waiting. Boredom strikes and a bit of early morning carsickness I decide to take a quick look inside the store for something to eat or drink.
We are back on our way out of town and only 30 minutes from my secret when I catch a glimpse of some odd object in the console drink holders.
Hey, I say- where'd he come from?
A solitary kneeling plastic green army man, one hand on his telephone which is attached to the field pack on his back and the other hand is missing. His handless arm is outstretched in front of him as he makes a call on his field phone.
I hold him up, coveting.
You can't have it, Tate shouts, it's for your happy birthday. I found it while I was working on so and sos farm last week.
-Today IS MY Happy Birthday! I blurt out.
It is?
Yyeah.
OK, I guess you can have him then.
Thank you, he's my favorite. You notice he is on the phone?
Yes.
Did you notice he lost his hand in the battle?
Yes, that too.
Know what he's saying?
Tell me.
He says- “Hey Mac, I need a hand here, Now!”
Yeah, we're funny I know. I am noticing a theme here that some of you may not have even considered, it's the green birthday present theme. Last year you see T gave me a 13 pound cabbage for my birthday. It's what I wanted, a cabbage anyway, and yes, I reminded him my birthday was coming up for a week in order to help him be prepared. I guess that proves it, some men do not have trouble remembering birthdays and special dates after all. I sure am blessed.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Rainy Day Man



Rainy Day Man. Acrylic on canvas, 12"x22", 2009.
Note to self; Please excuse Stacy for being tardy to work this morning, she just had to finish this painting.
It is actually my Tate under that umbrella.The goldfinch in real life is a cell phone- but he was talking to me and the finch is as cute as he is-so- Its my new favorite.

Naked Dream


I finally finished the naked in the Italian canal dream. It is acrylic on canvas, 18"x22". I just call it Naked Dream, 2009.
(you can zoom in to the water to see the characters do their thing)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Street Art, Joshua Allen Harris

Relaunch

Once again I believe it is time tochange my blog. I am not really writingmuch these days- mostly due to this new notebook's inability to space. See it? My dinosaur Cadillac laptop is about cooked from age and abuse, college papers and too many images saved. This tiny notebook was not a wise solution.
Now that school is out for a while, I am returning my focus to painting.
I am giving up Midwifing. A recent experience convinced me birthing is not in the cards for me, not now, maybe never.
I am not in any trouble but I can not discuss the particulars- another reason I have not been writing
Seems everything I want to write about could get me into trouble.
I am taking a break from my fiddle lessons with Ms. Mary- I just need a break.
I work when I have to and am going back to paint.
I'll be checking in now and then with you writer bloggers.
I hope to be pleased with my work enough that I will confidently be able to post it here-
in my revamped site
and maybe even sell a piece or two on Amazon or Ebay.
Thanks for your patience, and everything else about you.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Dream about a Dream

What is interesting sometimes is to discuss a previous dream in a current dream and watch the ways in which reality and dream realities intertwine. In a dream a few nights ago, I was discussing my painting of my dream "Swimming Naked in Italian Canal" ( I know- you haven't seen it, it is sketched in a previous post, scroll down a bit)with dream researcher and department head of dream and psychic research for the Edgar Cayce Institute, The ARE, Henry Reed. I have taken Henry's dream interpretation and dream quest course in the past and found it a fascinating journey.
Anyway- in this dream,Henry is a travelling art expert, he is critiquing people's art and it is my turn. He makes a few statements about its mediocrity and how I only get $300.00 per painting (not good enough).
next part is very cool because I tell him, in the dream, the painting is of the dream where I am swimming naked through the canal. . .
I explain to henry I am getting hung up on the details of the painting and am getting stuck, it does not flow as it should.
Henry takes a piece of drawing chalk? and quickly draws the skyline, he tells me to let go and paint , loosen up and just do it as if I was sketching.
The next day, I returned to my canvas after feeling quite trapped in it. I took a piece of chalk and fled across the canvas and the painting began to take a positive shape- to me means it is making me happy and I like to work on it.

A few days later, today, I emailed Henry and told him about this experience. he reminded me with this video to look again at the dream and the painting with respect to the action and the meaning of the dream , not so much on the environmental details, background etc.
Tomorrow when I get a chance to paint again all day, I already know where changes are going to be made.
Henry is a fabulous teacher.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Remey In the River


Here is a pastel sketch of my nephew. He is adorable, no beautiful, and unfortunately is being used as a pawn in his parents nasty little war. The biggest losers in this battle- 2 kids. Why do adults act so irresponsibly when there are beautiful ( or ugly for that matter) KIDS at stake? Why?

Friday, June 05, 2009

Belmont House (Sketch)


Now that I have finished my BA, I am working on completing all requirements for the grad school program I want to participate in. This means beginning art classes.Funny? Not really. I have been painting since I can remember being alive and never felt the need to take painting classes. Now they are required and one can always learn more.What is even better is the fact my current intro to painting teacher is a personal friend of mine and she has separated her class into 2 sections. Those of us who already have experience with paint (5 out of 20) are allowed to simply paint what we wish and to join critiques with the beginners. I love having the time to paint as a requirement. My goal is to complete at least four paintings which please me in the next 8 weeks.
Anywho- Michelle ONeil of Full Soul-Ahead (the only reader of this blog at this point) suggests I post my work and make it available for sale.
I have been creating pastel sketches of the paintings I am preparing to work on and have considered selling the sketches for a mere 25.00 each. I have paypal. Anyone interested?
Here is a possible next piece; Belmont House, pastel sketch- $25.00

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Dream Sketch, Naked in Italian Canal


I forgot to add the dude, but it is not too late. Coming along in paint too.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Swimming In the Street

The night before graduation , well, 2 nights before
I was in an older city, like somewhere in Italy and the buildings on both sides of the city street scape are in view. I see a man on the sidewalk as i swim by, I am absolutely naked and swimming in the street which is water. I am thinking I know I am naked and I do not mind if the man sees me. I am feeling beautiful, powerful and strong as I swim a powerful breast stroke. I swim around the corner and under a tunnel bridge.
It was cooler than cool.
I will attempt to paint it this next few weeks.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Life After School

Now, what? I guess I have time to sit and watch the irises bloom. I actually have time to smell them too- Mmmmmm, Can you smell em?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Walking the Walk in Ruby Slippers

Thanks to Matt at Animal Mind for finally enlightening me to the embed link function- doh!

Let's watch this one more time:))

Friday, May 08, 2009

Walk The Walk

When I become overwhelmed i often have the same recurring nightmare; I am in high school and I am unprepared and I am not going to graduate. As an- at times- over zealous student, I am mortified, and then I declare in the dream that I do not need to finish high school, I went to college anyway.
In this dream I am sometimes teen aged and others my old aging middle aged self. I am the oldest girl in the class, older than my teachers often.
It is true, when my father left us for his chicksa new wife and family, I took it quite hard. I fell into a deep self loathing depression and stopped going to school. I stayed home to clean the house and read and who knows. I received the letter addressed to my parents which stated if I was not in school on Monday, I was not permitted to return, ever.
I threw it in the trash.
After some time I took the GED exam and went to college in upstate NY. My father bitched and moaned about the money and my mom bought a new sportscar and a fur coat, a few pieces of jewelry too I think.
I partied most of the time, took off to Grateful Dead tour most of the week and returned to take exams maybe once a week. I maintained a 3.80 average anyway and then after 2 semesters I entered the school of hard knocks.
A year later I gave birth to my first son. At 21 I was a proud (welfare) mother of 2 babies and on my own. I will be 44 this year.
A few weeks ago, after I completed my final academic course for my BA , I had the new version of the recurring dream:
This time I am not going to graduate from college because i have not completed my papers, I do not have time to write another one.
Listen up Psyche!!!!!
We are going to IOWA, in a few hours, you need to get that woman in her underwear away from the keyboard and get her dressed and packing.
You did graduate- or- you will, if you get your ass packing!!
Pomp and circumstance here we come.

Monday, May 04, 2009

BTW

Oh, in case any of you are disturbed by the mummy like picture on my comment profile- relax. I am making new friends. I have found a grad school program I want to participate in, Art Therapy. I need a sculpture or 2 for my portfolio. She is going to be fabulous.

It Worked; sort of

I spent way too much time trying to post the video clip of my blooming irises.Cut and paste and it works, sigh- I am so technologically challenged.
The Antique Road Show is on and it is still cool and raining outside. Gotta go- maybe I will write on the plane next weekend. I am graduating college this weekend, gonna be a riot.Love- just that.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Click your Heels 3 times Dorothy

If one more idiotic DJ says-We've skipped right over Spring and landed in Summer-
I am going to scream, or worse. This has been a beautiful cool Virginia spring and I am watching every day, taking pictures each day of the bloom of my purple iris garden. I have been working on this bulb garden for 6 years now. I started it with 30 plants given to me by a friend as she thinned her historic home garden. There can be only one- purple Irises only. Last year a yellow popped up and I banished it to another garden.
I dig up, separate, replant these bulbs each fall and wait all winter and early spring to see the show. You may think I am simple, but this garden is one of the greatest joys in my life.
There's no place like home, no place

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Unfinished Business


As much as I hoped to be big about my little girl drama with my ex-father, I seem to be a bit stuck. I expected the fact that I had worked the dynamics into my dreams would resolve the issues in the awake world as well.
First night I see the man who was my father enter the room with a ukulele and my three-not real- sisters. He is going to play music with them and I am left out and heart broken, I want to play too. I enter the room and sit down on the sofa next to him, I lean over and whisper in his ear- "I need some daddy time"

He puts his arm around me and I feel calm, safe, protected and loved.

Next night- I am getting ready for my wedding to Tate, there is much drama and preparation. I move along a city street and stop near a wall with a telephone sitting on top of it. I pickup the phone and say-"Hi dad,I just want you to know that Tate and me are getting married today, you probably won't be interested in coming to it because your wife's children are not in it, so don't bother coming, thanks"
Dad, or man that used to be my dad,laughs his laugh-

Perhaps you get the gist now; I welcome feedback on this one. Even though I now have my great big BA in Psych, I may not be ready to get through this conflict alone.
Here is what happened:
As the academic front runner in my family, dad expected me to go to college, hopefully in the Med school track. (like all smart doctor daughters)
When I was 14? 15 years old,my Jewish doctor dad left my mom and his three children for a Catholic woman (of course she agreed to convert to Judaism for the financial(strike through)/spiritual reward) who had 2 smaller children of her own.
Mom took all his money and spent it on fur coats and sports cars and singles clubs.
All three of us kids dropped out of High School (unspeakable sin against Judaism)
Dad said he has no money to send me to school.
I proceed to take alot of drugs and have a breakdown.
OK kid- he said- I will send you to college.
Art school I say
Art is a hobby I won't pay for it, why not med school he said.

Twenty seven years later, I have completed my BA in Psych and am planning a Masters in Art Therapy.I am paying my tuition as well as helping both of my sons pay theirs.
For the past year or so, the man who used to be my father has been asking me when I will graduate and if I am going to it.He said he would like to go too.( I could care a less if he is there or not, its not the point.)

Two weeks ago, I call him to discuss this evil flu I have. He asks again, When is my graduation?
May 9th I say.
-May 9th?!!! That is Mother's Day weekend he said disbelieving. Why do they have graduation on a holiday?! he implores-this is a major tragedy for him.
Oh Stace (not my name anymore) he said, if it were any other weekend I could go, but not Mothers Day my wife would be livid.

Well gee dad, they always have graduation then I replied.
And- You can bring your wife to graduation too- (I actually like her)

Big drums roll-
We just can't do it, you know we have the kids to think about (meaning his wife's adult children in their 30s now).

As Tevye said- He is dead to me, dead to me i tell you, as my dad, now he is the man formerly known as my dad and I am changing both of my names, legally.

As an adjunct to my case, since the leaving time,not once have I, or my siblings been invited to participate in a family gathering or holiday at their home. Apparently those times are reserved for the new family- forever.
His loss truly.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My Muse



I'd never lie to you, never.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Name Change


(The title is a link to name encyclopedia)
After a certain conversation with my father, I have decided to change my name.
He has lost his naming rights-
it is final.
I have several acquaintances who do not have children.
Most of them appear to me as emotionally stuck in complicated issues with their parents, the lousy mother, the drunk abusive dad. ..
I know we all have these issues but somehow their importance or ability to challenge our mental stability wanes when we become parents of our own children.
I remember pausing one day several years ago as I played the continuous loop of how horrible my mother was and still can be at times through my head.
The question of how much of a similar but different rant might be going through my own son's heads now or in the future, or the rest of their lives for that matter, snapped me into a shut-up mode.
My internal dialogue of childish complaints and anger seemed selfish and indulgent; I am not the child anymore, I am the parent, the focus of future internal dialogues with the mother for my sons.
I dropped my daughter tape and began paying closer attention to the words and actions of the momma me; I had a breakthrough session with my internal therapist, I was cured.


Or so I thought-
He named me, he said he thought it was a beautiful name when I told him years ago how much I disliked it.
Because he said that,I kept it.
I am not going to tell you the stupid things he said last week which caused me to take away his naming rights of me, it is too self indulgent and I am burning the internal tape as well as a major support in the bridge.
I am not going to burn the entire bridge,yet, but I might.
From now on I will call him by his first name(which I happen to know he does not like) and you can call me Tzeitel.
Yes, I am serious

Thursday, April 02, 2009

State Talks

Tuesday Night:
I can't breathe. I've taken 2 doses of night time Theraflu,3 shots of cough syrup, some Tylenol and still feel like crap.
So I switched to a few glasses of red wine, (you know, do what you always do) and I still feel rotten. I think I am going to drown, I mistakenly say out loud.
Tate puts his shoes back on and walks to the front door.
What are you doing? I ask
We're going to the hospital come on, let's just get this over with.
The door closes behind him. He turns on his truck to warm it up.
I go to the little cabinet in the bathroom, pull out a 10 year old inhaler from Wiley's younger days, and take a few puffs.
Tate comes back inside. Come on- he says.
No, I just took some inhaler, feel much better now, I can breathe. . .
Blank stare with a hint of desperate rage.
I'm serious- I plead- Look I will go to the doctor tomorrow I promise and if I wake up dead in the morning you can kill me OK?
Deal he said as he went outside to turn off the truck.
It's so nice to have a man who understands me.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Feve

That's what Wiley used to say, "Momma, I got a feve" too sweet.
But I have had one now for 5 days and 5 nights and the nightmares and dreams which accompany a fever, well. . . toss up between mystical and terrifying.

A glimpse into another realm of hell. Its a quickie short film type of scene. I have seen a few, vivid and terrifying , too awful to discuss. People quickly herded into a circular tube like elevator, there is no background, no real walls per se, just boundaries. Large chains appear and pierce the flesh of the faces and feet and link the poor souls together and then___ the bottom drops out and the people fall at flesh tearing speed then perish.
Last night another nightmare, I get caught having sex with Al gore- what in the world?
Neither nightmare borders on mystical, don't bother asking that question. Is this a link?

Monday, March 30, 2009

Venus of Pho Henix


I am working my way back to blogger; its been a long time. I finished all of my academic classes for my degree. I have a 3.98 average in my major- psychology. I am going to Iowa to walk down the aisle. I have not been in a graduation ceremony since kindergarten. This is going to be fun, I pray. . . even though I think Iowa is under a bit of water.
I have abandoned you all for a while because of my schoolwork and work work getting out of control and then, I was lassoed into facebook. It's a long story but a middle school friend found me on my Blog and lured me in. It's like climbing back into a shed skin, the one you outgrew long ago and finding it is oddly comfortable . To be able to laugh, share stories, say I'm sorry, I secretly always liked you, etc. has been a blast.
I have missed so much of your lives and cannot wait to catch up. I have a little more time now. I am looking forward to doing some painting and a sculpture or two. I am still in my ceramics class on Wednesdays. I LOVE IT!!!
Have found a grad school program I hope to attend, maybe next year, if all goes as planned.
So, HERE IT IS, I AM SOMEONE ELSE NOW so I revamp this Blog and start again anew.
Missed you.
Here is my Green man , he holds my glasses while I sleep, burns candlelight through the eyes and holds my coffee cup in the morning. I got a star for learning to throw a pot on the wheel.
Life is good my friends, life is good!