when words fail me, which is often, I paint. When words work for me and are available on time, I am surprised.

Monday, April 28, 2008

The Real story

Sorry to upset anyone about my last post. I had those pictures of the bear incident, from a few weeks ago, before the Flu, and had to find some mythical way to use them. I thought it was funny, but I have been accused of finding humor in strange places.
The truth. I did get a terrible cold. I had a baby due on the 29th, which is tomorrow, no, wait, now today. The baby was feeling big to me and it was the Momma's first. Long labors come from that scenario and I had to keep one step ahead of myself, my schoolwork, my business, tate's company and it is gardening time. My schoolwork has really cut into my gardening performance. And what if I had to give that baby a breath? With a head full of flu? Worries. . .
I wrote my final paper on Sunday. it was due on Monday. That is a rare event for me.
Early this morning I awoke from a dream my pregnant lady called to say she was having contractions. A few hours later she called to say her labor had begun at one in the morning.
Long, very long story short-
I just arrived home, still smelling a bit birthy. Need to change my clothes and wind down from the high.
A BEAUTIFUL baby girl, Aurora, born this evening at 8:45 pm. Amen.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Beary Sad Story

People! I have to tell you something. Thanks to Stacy's friend Farhad who called me yesterday and informed me that Stacy had you virtual friends who would (maybe) be wondering what happened to her. He told me how to get here and i am not a techie, so bear with me. Shit, did I say bear? It was horrible really. No, she didn't die from the flu or the Theraflu. I read her last post. Yes she had a bugger of a flu, yes she took way too much Theraflu. She went to the doctor and the doc said her heart was skipping a beat for every beat it thumped out. She told her to switch to the daytime stuff and then she seemed to bounce back to almost normal as usual self in no time.

And then, like she mentioned. . . the bear, it was back.

This time the bear was bigger than any we had seen. Bigger than the one who carved up Billy Bob last fall, way bigger.
Maybe that's why she got sick in the first place. All night long, night after night the barking of the dogs, me running around trying to get pictures of it (it was beautiful), but in the morning she wasn't very happy. All of the bird feeders had been torn down. . . flowers trampled, tree branches broken.
So , last Sunday, on the full moon she snapped. I tried to stop her but I couldn't, it was too late.

The bear came back. Stacy rolled over in her sleep and said that she thought the bear just needed a little peanut butter and honey sandwich. It was hungry, that's all.
Right, I said as I rolled back into my dreams, sure she was kidding.
I heard the door creak then close and I ran to the kitchen.
A knife, peanut butter and honey stuck to it, sat on the counter top.
A giant jar of peanut butter. A honey-bear dripping honey and a half a loaf of bread sat next to the knife acting all innocent and unprepared for what came next.
She wasn't in the kitchen though.
I opened the front door to run after her
at the very instant
I saw the bear bite off her head.
What was she thinking?
The woman was nutz! I really miss her though.
Just thought you ought to know.

Monday, April 14, 2008


Wine, Truffles and Theraflu
480 x 320 - 117k - jpg

One question:

Where was Scooby Doo when there was work to do? Where?

Maybe he suddenly came down with a sore throat and head cold which fell into his lungs. Fast. Fever, aches, started Saturday night, after the Blessing way for the lady who is set to give birth any day.
no time for Flu, so. . .
A pot of Miso and seaweed with rice and red pepper. Doses of vitamin C.
Homeopathic remedies, echinachea, lobelia drops and Three doses of theraflu.

One dose and venture into a deep dreamless sleep, beyond the next world.
Awaken feeling groggy and a little lighter. Another dose. The heart pounds the snot dries up, the lungs turn to tissue paper sails in a giant tropical squall. Then sleep, a little less deeply.

Awaken, delirious and prepare the third dose of the pharmaceutical witches brew that sends me into stranger's bedrooms and lands between the land where no one walks or dares enter.

Trying not to breathe on Tate, who is resting next to me on our fluffy feather bed, I'm not nice enough to sequester myself to the cold hard beds of the guest rooms.

between awake and dreaming, I notice the vibrations of the words playing in my head and on the television set across the room. They intertwine and separately weave their vibrations through my heavily drugged body. All negative words and sounds affect me, I tense, all over, breathing changes, contracts. A negative thought, does the same. Our brains are taking in over 2 billion bytes of information per second, consciously we are only aware of 2 thousand. Subconsciously we are still affected by the sounds and thoughts we are not concentrating on. This reminder as I am beginning to catch myself in repeated negative banter with myself, WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS.
Would you say the mean things you say to yourself to anyone else? Your sister, best friend, lover, child? Why would you say them to yourself?

So, I turn to Tate, as my heart beats uncontrollably in my chest, trying to escape "Can Theraflu kill you?"
"If you drink three glasses of it, it could."

I am still here. The bear who came back full swing has moved on, spring is happening, statistics is over-got an A, have another paper due for another class, haven't started, my mom is in Md. visiting-I won't be able to get there, a baby due, shop busy, tate needs papers done and I am thinking about doing my taxes NOW. BUWAHAHAHA
Maybe another drink of Theraflu would do.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Sonic the hedgehog

I really have much to write about, but again, too many things to do at one time.
The memory is a mine field and the bombs have been going off like mad.
I procrastinate writing this simple paper for yet another mind numbing class, and I IM my seriously funny son- the Avi-meister.
I just told him I was considering getting back on antidepressants from these mind weed troubles. He said go ahead, he'll start shooting heroin in return. End of topic. Eavesdrop if you want. read it, it's hilarious.

me: i dont see anythin
Avi: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/expats/expats_news/article1009799.ece
Sent at 3:25 PM on Monday
me: funny, poor sonic
hey, could you guest host my blog?
I am too stressed out to blog
Avi: what?
youre trying to outsource your blog?
me: people do it all the time
Avi: im buying my blogsite today
me: they should be free
Avi: whatever. 10 bucks a year.
me: i am serious, you know how to get in to my blog, just sign in to google as me, then hit my account and blogger
go tell them about the hedgehog and mom too stressed out to do anything or something
Avi: i have to work on my short story. anyways id just steal all your subscribers and redirect them to my page
me: AVI, I need to write this stupid paper
all 3 of my friends! ha
Avi: dont make a difference to me
ill steal em
me: OK, I am going to post before I write this dumb thing.
Avi: no youre not
write it now. because its your fault i procrastinate. its your parenting. lead by example bum
me: you cannot blame that on me, no way not goin there
Ok help me
I have to write about open ended questions, the hypnotists style, not a problem
i have to create a survey topic, then create 3 open ended questions for it
give me a topic
i can do the rest
only a 2-3 pager
Avi: bird feeding
me: What can you tell me about bird feeding?
Have you ever created bird feeding places in your surroundings
Avi: i dont know. i dont feed a bitch, pigeons!
me: be serious you said do it so I am
should people feed birds?
OK that'll do, now we must quantify their answers, when respondents say I dont feed no pigeons we throw hedgehogs at them
Avi: yes. negative reinforcement
actively force and rewrite the homeostasis of the planet
me: no, it is positive reinforcement, taking away the hedgehog is negative, they have to have something subtracted
Avi: whatever
me: punishment is the throwing of the hedgehog
dammit now you are keeping me from my paper.
Sent at 3:41 PM on Monday
Avi: nope
im buying my website
youre wasting my time

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Don't Cry For me, OK?

I'm sorry to say this will be my last Blog. Things have been a bit tough lately and life is getting shorter and shorter every day, and I want to take time and smell the roses. So, I am going to travel full time with a biker gang to see the country and enjoy life while I still can. Don't worry about me - they all seem like really nice people.

Thanks cuz!