All I Got to do is Act Naturally

Setting-Sometime early last Summer- Crozet Va.(location of Tate's office where I am employed)

Daytime driving with son who is up on all local happenings- to a point.

A- Hey Mom, want to go check out the Arc?

S- What Arc?

A- A movie is being filmed in Virginia and it's a sequel to Bruce Almighty (Jim Carey, Morgan Freeman and other genius actors). They've built some enormous Arc somewhere, maybe it's in Waynesboro.

Actually the two above characters are driving within 3 miles of said Arc as they are having this discussion. Later this afternoon:

Enter R, a co-worker in Crozet.

R- Did you see the giraffes at the gas station when you came in?

S- Giraffes?

R- For the movie, they are doing some kind of Noah's arc thing. Did you hear about it?

S- Yeah, we were talking about it this morning, me and Av. Where is it?

R- Across the street from the gas station. The station we drive by everyday and buy our fuel for our company. You have to drive down the road to see it.

End of day S (that's me)takes her camera and drives down the road and sees the Arc ahead of her. There are several suburban, subdivision,new construction tract houses along the road before the Arc. All of the houses have FOR SALE signs hanging in front of them. S parks her car, grabs the camera and begins walking down the road and into the field where Arc is set. She thinks to herself, I wonder why everyone is selling their house, they don't want to live near a movie site?

S doesn't notice that the real estate signs are unusual, there are no agent names or phone numbers on them, only company names. She doesn't realize that the numerous press vehicles in front of the Arc are certainly not from this locale, the call letters completely foreign. She thought they were doing a news story on the movie being made in their back yard. She really is quite intuitive but she isn't really the one for real time rationales.

S begins taking pictures.

A young, hip looking techie chick (yes I call women chicks sometimes, does this make me a sexist feminist?) with a headset on runs up to S.

I don't want to make an order I said, I am just here to see the arc.

No I didn't but I felt like saying it this time. Where was S? Oh-

TC-(techie chick) Whoa, you can't take pictures!

S- I can't? she says as she places her camera behind her back.

TC- No. What are you doing? This is a movie set; are you an Extra?

S- No, but I'd like to be. I just came to see the Arc. I parked over there and...

TC- You CAN'T PARK THERE!

S- OK, but about being an extra

TC shakes her head and looks at the ground, We do need extras on Monday she says under her breath.

S- Is there somewhere to sign up?

TC sighs and reaches into her back pocket to retrieve a pen and a piece of paper. Call this number she says. Now, get out of here- please.


Here's the short story

Arrive in vineyard at 6:00 am. Get on shuttle bus to Arc site. Several Big Tents set up with plywood floors and banquet tables covered in checkered cloth. Three hundred locals of all colors and ages are gathered. (Well there aren't many people there under 14).Some people act very Hollywood and important roll in making announcements without a microphone and it feels very high school but maybe HS in Hollywood. I sense the tedium of the movie making business. I am sitting with Tom Hanks, we are making fun of Madonna, food fell out of her mouth when she was attempting to say something sexy to Yule Brenner. Waiting.

Waiting for hours to be called to the next tent where we will wait in line for hours to get our costumes assigned. I get to dress like MC Hammer and I am feeling very High School again, because I always wanted to be the leading lady with the pretty dress and the popular guy that wants her but I always got cast as the character actress. I still resent that music teacher, I had talent.

Put costume on in this unseasonably cold Summer morning. Walk down to Arc. Stand some more, wait some more. Now!

-"Here's the scene, this nut moves into your yuppie neighborhood and says that GOd told him there was going to be A FLOOD AND TO BUILD AN aRC AND HE DOES IN YOUR BACK YARDS AND (oops I get so excited) you want to have him arrested because it's not rained forever, it's a drought and all of a sudden, Roll EM!

They are going to computer simulate the rain and the flood waters but we must act like we are running for our lives ONTO the ARC (that's where we hope to find me) but for the shots to look real, (real-unlike the houses which are facades and the news crews which are actors and props) we must all be really soaking wet.

Everyone over to that patch of grass by the road.

Moo- the crowd shuffles

In roll the water cannon concrete trucks. They soak us to the bone at least six times this day. Sometimes we go back to start place while drenched and shivering and wait so long that we have to go and get soaked again. The next day I had a slight fever.

Evan Amazing (I swear this is what they called it then, now it's Almighty) opens in theaters today. I am going to be a big star. Don't worry, I will never forget you, my little blogosphere friends.