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Is it a blog if you only post every few weeks? I don't know but I am taking a few minutes to post a little update and then i will most likely disappear again for some time.
-My headache has finally subsided after one month of falling head first into the cast iron bath tub edge.(my left ear still crackles though)
-Our new dog has stopped acting like a chihuahua in need of a lobotomy, thank god.
-I got another A in my last course, all accelerated online BS courses, every 5 weeks. I thought I would have my degree by Jan/09, only to realize I would not be finished until next June.
Hooray!
-This Spring I have Midwifed three beautiful women while they gave birth to their babies. One of my closest friends was one of those women. Imagine this- at a certain point of her laboring, she returns to the shower. I help her break her water and wait outside the bathroom door for her to say -Something. She does-"Head's out" Entirely cool, she wanted to do as much as possible by herself, and she did . Love it.
-Two Nights ago Michelle O Neil from Full-Soul-Ahead entered my dream with her completed memoir in her hand. This morning as I am reading my textbook on Physiological Psychology, I read the end of the chapter on Autism and Asbergers Syndrome (which Michelle O's daughter has the diagnosis) and the final sentence in the TEXTBOOK, which blows my mind, reads-"By the way, careful studies have found no evidence that Autism is linked to childhood immunization." That's kind of like the "guns don't kill people" slogan isn't it? I wonder where the University researchers get their funding from. Hmmnnn.... I like butterflies.... I believe, clap your hands, WHAT F-ing Bullshit!!!
see, that is why I don't write political blogs, I can't write anything that shouldn't be censored when I get angry, which is too often in that advocacy arena.
I digress
- I am leaving for a week long missionary trip to the Dominican Republic, Friday night. I will be working in a birthing clinic where 15 laboring women labor at once in the same room, on tables with no sheets, covers or sanitary conditions and there are several species of insects all around. Going to be interesting. I am excited. but- before I go, I have 4 days to complete my 10 page term paper, several weeks of homework,as my class ends while I am away and I have to get it in early. I have to get Tate's company bills and ducks in a row which takes an average of 2 workdays per week. Prepare the house and animals and my shop and pack and pay all household bills so the glass menagerie does not crumble without me, as i fear it might.

-And here I am, its 3:20 pm Sunday afternoon. The plan, to write the paper, take the tests, do the homeworks, all today. Begin the company work tomorrow-
Procrastination? What is that?
Think I will go check out what you all are doing.
See you in a few weeks.

I CAN Fly

A few nights ago. . .
I am sitting at a table with my oldest son, at the age of 16 maybe, before me. I take out a pen and sketch pad and begin to draw a figure of the bad guy. One eye this way, the other upside down strokes. Son is impatient. I tell him I must draw this picture to rid ourselves of him once and forever; be patient.
In the morning I awake and record the image. I then pull a tiny sketch pad from the bath side table, and a fine point Sharpie. I draw him in the same fashion as the dream instructed. Then I begin to aim projectiles at his face, and sketch his Lilly liver, and shrunken head and tears, because he is a very sad and wounded soul, and yes, I hate him. I am tired of him entering my psyche and tormenting me in my nightmares.
But this time it was different. I was in charge, I was creating the drama, not fighting or running or surviving his madness, I was exorcising him, the demon that he is.
After the bath, I doused the little sketch in alcohol and watched his face swell and bloat, and struck a match.... and said a few choice words. . .

Last night, in order to get to my love (who in the physical world sleeps next to me)
I fly
Above fields and people and buildings and hills
I wave my arms as if swimming the breast stroke.
I am in an upright position and I lift up high into the air
free
saying to myself out loud
I can fly.

Sounds of Now

We have a new dog, he's a rescue.
We have named him Polio, short for Napolean Dynamite. Polio is a Rhodesian Ridgeback, 90 pounds of solid muscle. He was a suburbanite purgatory rescue and he is currently 5 years old. He's used to being on a lead and being locked indoors during the day. A Rhodesian Ridgeback is bred to hunt Lions! The real kind. A regal beast with teeth 2 inches long, he's ferocious looking. But he's an enormous spoiled suburbanite wimp. We brought him here to save him from the county dogwatchers. They threatened to have him put to death for escaping from his chain and chasing the neighbor's un-neutered male dog.

Free, seven acres on a hilltop, surrounded by thousands of acres of woods. No neighbors, neigbor dogs or cats, plain frredom.
Polio cries all day on the doorstep
"I want to come inside! Pleeease! it's hot out here (he's an African breed mind you)
There's big trees out here, and bugs, I want to go to PetSmart -puppy playtime you know, with carpet and toys. . . whaaaa"

Enough, my head can take no more
Still recovering from my concussion. My hematoma somehow became infected. I had to take antibiotics and missed the family reunion. I just got out of bed to work on the books and write my term paper due tonight by midnight.
Shut up Polio, and I mean that in the nicest way.

The shoes should come with a warning

If a girl has a painful back issue and she works on her feet many hours without a break during a day, she might wear MBT -zero balance shoes. They help her enormously during the work day. These shoes cost as much as an ounce of gold during a high phase. They come with a DVD, an instructional DVD. Although I know how to put them on and how to walk, I watched the DVD anyway. There was no warning, no disclaimer, but I wish there had been.
The warning might say: If you are going to drink 2 Bloody Mary's and one glass of Pinot (ok, maybe 2)after a long, very long, stressful week; REMOVE YOUR MBT's before imbibing!"
The simple disclosure may have saved me from the unfortunate headlong dive into the far edge of the cast iron bath tub. The resulting hematoma on my skull and the Gumby like shape of my head the following morning. Did I mention the sensation of a fly buzzing on the opposite side of my head? There is nothing there. And no, no one pushed me, no one in a body that is.
I am back, missed you all, going to see what you've been up to. . .
If my unevenly dilated pupils will allow.
Sheeze it really hurts!

Change

The toothbrush swap was the first clue, the failure to add a comma and a zero to the total for my Tate's company customer invoice (still waiting to recover, he hasnt received a paycheck in weeks thanks to me)was the second. Toothbrush trick you say? It's when you go to brush your teeth in the morning and you reach for the toothbrush in your tooth brush holder and you look at it and say out loud- This is not my toothbrush! My tooth brush is a different toothbrush altogether, I think. What color is my toothbrush? And you get really nervous because you have no idea, even though you used that toothbrush everyday for the past few weeks, maybe months, what your toothbrush looks like. But you have to brush your teeth because you have to go to work and you can't stand the glue and dust bunny flavor in your mouth so- even though you might begin to gag at the thought of where this toothbrush might have been before sneaking into your toothbrush holder-You use it anyway.
That's a big clue right there that it is time for a change.
Change of place, mind, wardrobe, empty closets toss out clutter, simplify and slow down.
The Empress runs naked through the garden, laughing at Adam's apple. What a joke.
She feigns fearlessness, laughing at the sound of lightning crashing through the far side of the moon
It's all fun and games until she sees the snakes
Slithering on door jambs
rising up bare walls every surface lined with Set, and his friends
They have a message, will she listen or is it true
She's just crazy in her head? So he says.

Maybe a little. It was just getting too crowded in there. Dump the head, clean the clutter, revamp your Blog and go for a walk.

We're MI

"We're MI!" my favorite line from Monsters Incorporated. I wonder how many kids get it, or adults for that matter. If you've been by here lately, or if you've given up on me completely and you are not here and therefore not reading this and I wonder where you are too. . . .Then, you'd know I have not been here in a long time and I have nothing to say. I think I am not the same person anymore. I have wanted to write, I have been aching to paint, I am practicing my violin very little, but some.
End of the world weather rolling on with earthquakes, fires, volcanic eruptions and twisters. What could I possibly have to say at a time like this? I am stressed out? Sheezus, forget I was about to go on about how busy I am and all of the (just 1 maybe)mistakes I have made lately in the accounting arena and woe is me, but forget all that.
I am blessed, I am lucky, thankful, busy, free, loved. Did I say blessed?


Speaking of MI and blessed and all that, I have registered to go on the Medical Ministries International trip in the Dominican Republic this Summer for a week. I will be delivering babies in a maternity clinic with a group of midwives and doctors. Going to reboot my midwifery skills in a clinical setting; the clinic receives nearly 400 babies per month. Going to be a trip indeed.
I miss you too, almost as much as I miss me, really.

The Real story

Sorry to upset anyone about my last post. I had those pictures of the bear incident, from a few weeks ago, before the Flu, and had to find some mythical way to use them. I thought it was funny, but I have been accused of finding humor in strange places.
The truth. I did get a terrible cold. I had a baby due on the 29th, which is tomorrow, no, wait, now today. The baby was feeling big to me and it was the Momma's first. Long labors come from that scenario and I had to keep one step ahead of myself, my schoolwork, my business, tate's company and it is gardening time. My schoolwork has really cut into my gardening performance. And what if I had to give that baby a breath? With a head full of flu? Worries. . .
I wrote my final paper on Sunday. it was due on Monday. That is a rare event for me.
Early this morning I awoke from a dream my pregnant lady called to say she was having contractions. A few hours later she called to say her labor had begun at one in the morning.
Long, very long story short-
I just arrived home, still smelling a bit birthy. Need to change my clothes and wind down from the high.
A BEAUTIFUL baby girl, Aurora, born this evening at 8:45 pm. Amen.