I have completed another notebook full of dreams. I have been carrying it to work with me for a few days so I may reach into it and pull out interesting images from the past year if I come up short on material.Without opening last years journal i know I have been doing alot of flying in the past year, way more than my average. Last week flying over the river as my father warned me of it's dangers and last night:
I am flying above a large river, it is an effort-full flight, like running a long distance.I actually fly like a bird, my arms like wings; sometimes I am in a standing position and I fly by using my arms as if I was treading water, but not last night.
Last night like a bird, extended.
The view below is peaceful and beyond description beautiful. The sky is clear, mountains surrounding and then I approach a suspended bridge across the river.
There are two "bad guys" on the bridge. When I get close enough they plan to grab me, snatch me out of the sky and cause me to suffer.
I am aware of their intentions.
They are aware of my novelty, I CAN Fly.
I put enormous effort into flying up higher into the sky as I get close to them. I manage to miss them, but it's very close.
As I am engaged in pulling away, I hear my voice, "it's hard to fly when you are afraid"
Friday, May 04, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
In His Hands
When Adam was nine, he spent the summer with his cousins. They live on a mini farm in the country. The road in front of the field is a busy two lane, busy for the country that is. Speed limit forty-five but most people drive faster than that.
Here's the story, you may have heard it before:
Four kids outside in front of the house, laughing their little heads off. Summertime, carefree, playing with the new addition to the family, a three month old Boxer puppy.
Leon Spinks,Leoni for short,the puppy,takes off running in a game of chase across the street.
Adam, with his tunnel vision focus on leoni, chases after him.
Minivan cruising fifty miles an hour, it all happens so fast.
Yes Leoni made it across the street unharmed, Adam was not so lucky.
His young body was thrown a football field's length from the road.Pegasus, our medivac helicopter lifted his body into the sky to take him to the hospital. While in the helicopter, his heart stopped beating four times. Four times he was resuscitated.
He was in a coma for six weeks. The doctors told his parents he would be a "Vegetable" for the rest of his life. They ALWAYS say that, because they don't know how to admit they don't know anything about the brain.Better to just prepare the parents for the worst, right?
He woke up, his brain began to heal. Adam was fourteen when I met him.He has eyes like aqua-blue marbles when the sunlight shines through them. He's regained the use of his hands but they still cramp and sometimes they just won't work the way he wants them to. Although he mainly travels in a wheelchair, he can walk. That's something no vegetable I know can do. His speech is slower than normal, but he can talk. Adam had a way of beginning to answer me in conversation well before I had completed the gist of my statement. He knew what I was going to say before I said it, he had to make up for his speech delay. Adam had the energy of a saint; sweet, patient and happy.
In the sensory institute, center for healing and integration of acquired brain injuries and a wide variety of spectrum disorders, I spent an hour a day for twelve consecutive days with this young man.
My part time job as an assistant in this cutting edge center is not only a job that feeds my bank account but one that feeds my soul.
Adam reclined on the table that rocks gently from side to side, the light box overhead displayed every visible color in the visual light spectrum. The room was completely darkened he listened to the specially engineered Cds on the headphones.
We played words games sometimes, other times he said he just wanted to rest.
On his last day he asked me to massage his hands while he rested. His hands often cramped while he was on the table.
I held his hand and closed my eyes in the quiet, dark room.
I rose into the clouds. I saw Adam holding on to the hand of God.
"I don't want to he said." Over and over again, Adam pleaded with God.
He wanted to stay.
God responded to Adam, words without any sound or physical source in the clouds, safe from the pain of the physical world.
God told him he had to return, it wasn't time yet.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I witnessed their conversation.
The table stopped rocking. Instead of turning the lights back on slowly as he normally did,Adam held my hand in the darkness a few moments longer.
As I attempted to dry my tears, he turned the light on and sought my eyes with his own.
Eternity.
And then he said, "Thank you".
Here's the story, you may have heard it before:
Four kids outside in front of the house, laughing their little heads off. Summertime, carefree, playing with the new addition to the family, a three month old Boxer puppy.
Leon Spinks,Leoni for short,the puppy,takes off running in a game of chase across the street.
Adam, with his tunnel vision focus on leoni, chases after him.
Minivan cruising fifty miles an hour, it all happens so fast.
Yes Leoni made it across the street unharmed, Adam was not so lucky.
His young body was thrown a football field's length from the road.Pegasus, our medivac helicopter lifted his body into the sky to take him to the hospital. While in the helicopter, his heart stopped beating four times. Four times he was resuscitated.
He was in a coma for six weeks. The doctors told his parents he would be a "Vegetable" for the rest of his life. They ALWAYS say that, because they don't know how to admit they don't know anything about the brain.Better to just prepare the parents for the worst, right?
He woke up, his brain began to heal. Adam was fourteen when I met him.He has eyes like aqua-blue marbles when the sunlight shines through them. He's regained the use of his hands but they still cramp and sometimes they just won't work the way he wants them to. Although he mainly travels in a wheelchair, he can walk. That's something no vegetable I know can do. His speech is slower than normal, but he can talk. Adam had a way of beginning to answer me in conversation well before I had completed the gist of my statement. He knew what I was going to say before I said it, he had to make up for his speech delay. Adam had the energy of a saint; sweet, patient and happy.
In the sensory institute, center for healing and integration of acquired brain injuries and a wide variety of spectrum disorders, I spent an hour a day for twelve consecutive days with this young man.
My part time job as an assistant in this cutting edge center is not only a job that feeds my bank account but one that feeds my soul.
Adam reclined on the table that rocks gently from side to side, the light box overhead displayed every visible color in the visual light spectrum. The room was completely darkened he listened to the specially engineered Cds on the headphones.
We played words games sometimes, other times he said he just wanted to rest.
On his last day he asked me to massage his hands while he rested. His hands often cramped while he was on the table.
I held his hand and closed my eyes in the quiet, dark room.
I rose into the clouds. I saw Adam holding on to the hand of God.
"I don't want to he said." Over and over again, Adam pleaded with God.
He wanted to stay.
God responded to Adam, words without any sound or physical source in the clouds, safe from the pain of the physical world.
God told him he had to return, it wasn't time yet.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I witnessed their conversation.
The table stopped rocking. Instead of turning the lights back on slowly as he normally did,Adam held my hand in the darkness a few moments longer.
As I attempted to dry my tears, he turned the light on and sought my eyes with his own.
Eternity.
And then he said, "Thank you".
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Kidnapped
Last Saturday after work I was accosted by three pirates on my front deck.
Kidnapped really.
One case of PINOT EVIL, YArrgghh!
We were whisked away through winding roads and landed in a field near the end of the world.
Pirate, drinking, dancing, debauchery all around.
Sunday morning, head ache.
Sunday afternoon, jumping naked into the rapidly rushing forty-five degree-frigid- freaking river.(actually I had my SuperGirl panties on)
Save the ship, save the Pinot Evil. Yaarrrghhh!
All week long, looking for that lost piece of my brain.
Pirates, yarrgghh, please not tonight. We're scared to go home.
MBT's
I am on a massage table. There is a sumo wrestler sized woman on my back, she is pinning me down. In her massive hand she has two gigantic syringes. She injects them into the vertebrae in my neck. I wake up unable to move. Unable to get back to sleep, the pain is excruciating.
And this has been the drama for several years now. It's no wonder really after the leap off the bridge, forty feet down and sober. Idiot!
After years, fifteen or more, concrete floors: Bakery shops, hair salons, grocery store check-out, fifteen years.
The car accident, the situation with the spinal meninges which we are forbidden to discuss; if we do we must face involuntary commitment and not to a man or anything as pleasant as that.
I saw my chiropractor in town a few weeks ago. I told her that I had recently returned to full time on my feet work and that I should have been realigned first, but I've not had alot of time lately.
She said I need the shoes that rock. She forgot what they were called.
Friends, listen up.
If you have chronic neck pain, back pain or pain haunts your every thought as it did mine up until last Monday, I have three letters of advice (and I am not getting any kick backs, I just love them and you too):
MBT
Shoes that rock! Not kidding!
Yes they cost as much as my son's new car(seriously).
Yes the shoe salesperson comes out of the back room with a pair in your size in one hand and a hand saw in the other to collect the fee of an arm and a leg, but so worth it.
http://www.footwearetc.com/static_links/WALK_ORANGE.html
And this has been the drama for several years now. It's no wonder really after the leap off the bridge, forty feet down and sober. Idiot!
After years, fifteen or more, concrete floors: Bakery shops, hair salons, grocery store check-out, fifteen years.
The car accident, the situation with the spinal meninges which we are forbidden to discuss; if we do we must face involuntary commitment and not to a man or anything as pleasant as that.
I saw my chiropractor in town a few weeks ago. I told her that I had recently returned to full time on my feet work and that I should have been realigned first, but I've not had alot of time lately.
She said I need the shoes that rock. She forgot what they were called.
Friends, listen up.
If you have chronic neck pain, back pain or pain haunts your every thought as it did mine up until last Monday, I have three letters of advice (and I am not getting any kick backs, I just love them and you too):
MBT
Shoes that rock! Not kidding!
Yes they cost as much as my son's new car(seriously).
Yes the shoe salesperson comes out of the back room with a pair in your size in one hand and a hand saw in the other to collect the fee of an arm and a leg, but so worth it.
http://www.footwearetc.com/static_links/WALK_ORANGE.html
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Miss Pan
I am flying over rivers;
My father walking down below.
"How did you learn to fly?" he and his companions ask.
"I practiced in a dream" and I recall the dream while in a dream.
I swoop and spin, it's so much fun to fly through the trees, over high wires.
"Stace, it's dangerous, I wish you wouldn't." My father shouts from the ground as he falls into the river, sinking.
"Don't say it. Don't tell me I can't fly. If I believe you, I will fall"
Descending slowly, tuning him out.
Determined to rise again.
My father walking down below.
"How did you learn to fly?" he and his companions ask.
"I practiced in a dream" and I recall the dream while in a dream.
I swoop and spin, it's so much fun to fly through the trees, over high wires.
"Stace, it's dangerous, I wish you wouldn't." My father shouts from the ground as he falls into the river, sinking.
"Don't say it. Don't tell me I can't fly. If I believe you, I will fall"
Descending slowly, tuning him out.
Determined to rise again.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Code Pink Slip
I can't make this assignment, I wish I could. If anyone out there, men included could take my place, I'd be grateful. Please let me know if you will go and then where you were so I can find you in the historical photo.
CODEPINK has been calling for a "pink slip" to Bush and Cheney for years- and now's the time to do it! Join CODEPINK DC, A28 Coalition, World Can't Wait and many others as we participate in a nationwide message to IMPEACH (Bush, Cheney, the lot of them). We will be joining on the Mall to use our bodies to spell out the word that has been on all of our minds and lips! CODEPINK has offered to take the "C" in IMPEACH and pink it up!
On April 28, in major actions across the country, CODEPINKers will be lying in "C" formation. Aerial photos of our human mural will be taken from the top of the Washington Monument. So bring your pink slip (or even better, wear it!) and your friends to the Mall this Saturday for an Impeachment Picnic!
When: Saturday, April 28th 10:30 am-1:00 pm. Photo is at noon, so please show up by 11:30am at the latest!
Where: The Mall between 14th and 15th St., just east of the foot of the Washington Monument. Smithsonian Metro stop (orange/blue line).
CODEPINK Meet Up will be on the North side of the area, just look for the big pink sign!
What to bring: Wear your pink, a blanket or two, a picnic, some sunscreen/sunglasses/hat and water.
Check out our Impeach page! http://www.codepinkalert.org/section.php?id=24
CODEPINK has been calling for a "pink slip" to Bush and Cheney for years- and now's the time to do it! Join CODEPINK DC, A28 Coalition, World Can't Wait and many others as we participate in a nationwide message to IMPEACH (Bush, Cheney, the lot of them). We will be joining on the Mall to use our bodies to spell out the word that has been on all of our minds and lips! CODEPINK has offered to take the "C" in IMPEACH and pink it up!
On April 28, in major actions across the country, CODEPINKers will be lying in "C" formation. Aerial photos of our human mural will be taken from the top of the Washington Monument. So bring your pink slip (or even better, wear it!) and your friends to the Mall this Saturday for an Impeachment Picnic!
When: Saturday, April 28th 10:30 am-1:00 pm. Photo is at noon, so please show up by 11:30am at the latest!
Where: The Mall between 14th and 15th St., just east of the foot of the Washington Monument. Smithsonian Metro stop (orange/blue line).
CODEPINK Meet Up will be on the North side of the area, just look for the big pink sign!
What to bring: Wear your pink, a blanket or two, a picnic, some sunscreen/sunglasses/hat and water.
Check out our Impeach page! http://www.codepinkalert.org/section.php?id=24
Open Door
"This being human is a guest house.
Every morning
a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and attend them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture, still,
treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond..."
Mevlana Jelalu'ddin Rumi : Persian sufi mystic
Mevlana Rumi (1207 - 1273)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
