Yesterday morning, I am in Hawaii. On a winding road, the cerulean blue ocean down below. Indigo swirls, the wind is warm and gentle. I am on the edge of the ocean, I tell Tate that the water is warm.
He said, "Stace, it's 7:00. We overslept."
ERRRR, it's Sunday. I have agreed to attend a new agey health and healing conference/exhibition at the Omni Hotel in town. I am feeling a bit stressed about the whole thing. It's the time of the month where I need to be left alone, in my body and mind. I have only one day off these days, it's Sunday. I agreed to sit at the booth with a friend when she asked me several weeks ago. Who knew then how much I would have wanted to stay in my dreams that day?
Skipping to the point.
I arrived a bit late, no problem.
There were nearly 30 presenters at the expo. As we were setting up, I witnessed our neighbor's table being set with pretty flowers and an interesting sign.
I wandered over to greet an attractive, grey haired and pretentiously upright man. He said, "Are you interested in your dreams"?
He's a Phd.Psychologist. He teaches people to understand the meanings of animals in their dreams.
I laughed at first. That's like asking a crack addict if they want to smoke some crack today.
I told him I have been recording my dreams since I was 15 years old. That I went to a hypnotist when I was 17 in order to recall a dream where I was speaking in a language I was unfamiliar with.I informed him that I have taken classes with Henry Reed, the head of dream and psychic research for the A.R.E.
He said he's never heard of Henry.
He said he used Jungian archetypes.
Jung believed that Jews were mentally and physically inferior people. I wouldn't be too proud of trusting Jung's insights.
I told him that I was in Hawaii last night and was a little miffed at having to leave in order to be here.
He sneered in my general direction, he avoided any further conversation with me and seemed threatened when I conversed with the attendees (several are friends I haven't seen in some time). I was at the Sensory Learning Institutes booth. I wasn't talking to the people about the meaning of their dreams. He didn't seem to be impressed with my interest in "his " subject at all.
I'd rather be on the Ocean in Hawaii, where the water is warm and I am with my love. I am totally sick of pretentious, egoists and hierarchies.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
90's Kids
Anne was the closest to having a daughter as I have ever been. We lived with her when she was 11 years old until the day she moved to be with her mother. She was thirteen then.
She was tough. Tough on me, tough on the boys; her world was tough. She had been living with her father since she was a baby. Her father never really got the hang of the daddy thing, he ignored her alot. He left the parenting to his friends, sister in law and his mother.
Anne took her frustrations out on me, often. Sometimes she was the funniest, friendliest, most creative friend and other times I expected her head to begin spinning in a 360.
Anne is almost 24 years old now. She has come a long way. She is a new mommy and wife. She is smart, funny, Beautiful and I absolutely love her.
She has a My Space site. I check in to see her now and then. This is her recent blog: www.myspace.com/acexadd5 (forgive me, I am still having trouble inserting a link)
Last Updated:
Mar 13, 2007
Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 23
Sign: Aries
City: CHARLOTTE
State: North Carolina
Country: US
Signup Date: 04/20/06
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid.
Anybody under the age of 12 should not read this, and if you do, you should not repost this.
Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid.It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it.
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this [ice ice _ _ _ _ ]
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...
If you remember Jelly Shoes and had multiple pairs.
AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everyhting was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies.
?Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!Oh YESSS
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
Before we weren't allowed to have cell phones in school, it was "GigaPets" that we weren't supposed to have.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You know the significance of the number 23.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!
Like I said, she's funny.
She was tough. Tough on me, tough on the boys; her world was tough. She had been living with her father since she was a baby. Her father never really got the hang of the daddy thing, he ignored her alot. He left the parenting to his friends, sister in law and his mother.
Anne took her frustrations out on me, often. Sometimes she was the funniest, friendliest, most creative friend and other times I expected her head to begin spinning in a 360.
Anne is almost 24 years old now. She has come a long way. She is a new mommy and wife. She is smart, funny, Beautiful and I absolutely love her.
She has a My Space site. I check in to see her now and then. This is her recent blog: www.myspace.com/acexadd5 (forgive me, I am still having trouble inserting a link)
Last Updated:
Mar 13, 2007
Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 23
Sign: Aries
City: CHARLOTTE
State: North Carolina
Country: US
Signup Date: 04/20/06
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid.
Anybody under the age of 12 should not read this, and if you do, you should not repost this.
Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid.It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it.
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this [ice ice _ _ _ _ ]
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...
If you remember Jelly Shoes and had multiple pairs.
AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everyhting was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies.
?Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!Oh YESSS
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
Before we weren't allowed to have cell phones in school, it was "GigaPets" that we weren't supposed to have.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You know the significance of the number 23.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!
Like I said, she's funny.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Neanderthal Lenny
Oh the seas of nighttime shifting; finally the dreams become rich and vivid again.
The visitations from my aunt who died two years ago after a ten year battle with cancer, the dead girl in my closet who i have painted onto a canvas in order to hide her, the wading in green flood waters surrounded by snakes of power lines and rescuing wandering elusive baby sons.
Perhaps it's the mixture of the experiences some of you have sent along with the bizarre and fantatstic writing of prolific author Dean Koontz. I have been reading "Odd Thomas". This is my first time ever reading Dean Koontz. I tend to shy away from the stars of the writing world. I know this has something to do with my disdain for mass produced items. A few weeks ago when I was locked in the witness room of the courthouse for an unexpected nine hours, I was fortunate to be in the company of Neanderthal Lenny. NL is as much of a bookworm as I am, and much better prepared. Perhaps this says something about his familiarity with the court thing because he brought three magazines , two novels and one "how to" book on treating dogs for psychosis or perhaps arthritis. I picked up Odd Thomas and began to read. I began to read paragraphs over and over again, not because I din't understand them but because I loved the way they were written. NL gave his testimony before me and then he waited for me to say my piece. NL went home; I declined a ride to my house. He said I could borrow his book when he had finished reading it.He took the book home. I would have to wait.
One week later, NL threw a big party at his house on the river. In my party banter, which is usually tough for me because I don't know how to be superficial, I brought up the topic of Dean Koontz. Martha said, "Dean Koontz is like Stephen King on acid."
True, really. I bought the book last Sunday.
Here's one I marked; "If someone invented a thermometer that measured weirdness, it would melt under my tongue. . . "
The visitations from my aunt who died two years ago after a ten year battle with cancer, the dead girl in my closet who i have painted onto a canvas in order to hide her, the wading in green flood waters surrounded by snakes of power lines and rescuing wandering elusive baby sons.
Perhaps it's the mixture of the experiences some of you have sent along with the bizarre and fantatstic writing of prolific author Dean Koontz. I have been reading "Odd Thomas". This is my first time ever reading Dean Koontz. I tend to shy away from the stars of the writing world. I know this has something to do with my disdain for mass produced items. A few weeks ago when I was locked in the witness room of the courthouse for an unexpected nine hours, I was fortunate to be in the company of Neanderthal Lenny. NL is as much of a bookworm as I am, and much better prepared. Perhaps this says something about his familiarity with the court thing because he brought three magazines , two novels and one "how to" book on treating dogs for psychosis or perhaps arthritis. I picked up Odd Thomas and began to read. I began to read paragraphs over and over again, not because I din't understand them but because I loved the way they were written. NL gave his testimony before me and then he waited for me to say my piece. NL went home; I declined a ride to my house. He said I could borrow his book when he had finished reading it.He took the book home. I would have to wait.
One week later, NL threw a big party at his house on the river. In my party banter, which is usually tough for me because I don't know how to be superficial, I brought up the topic of Dean Koontz. Martha said, "Dean Koontz is like Stephen King on acid."
True, really. I bought the book last Sunday.
Here's one I marked; "If someone invented a thermometer that measured weirdness, it would melt under my tongue. . . "
Monday, March 12, 2007
Tornadic Conspiracy?-Ricks dream
just the other night, i dream that i'm driving down an interstate, in the car with a couple of people whom it's not clear if i know that well, but we're driving along
I have myself in complete control. I have myself transitioning through pathways of connection. I am with others, not alone, but independent in anonymity.
and up ahead we see this big, black tornado heading our way. other cars are pulling off, so i do, too, but there's no ditch on the side of the highway (i grew up in tornado country, you're supposed to park your car and lie down in the deepest ditch you can find), so we get out of the car and we start walking up the embankment on the side of the road.
In the future looms darkness, destruction and massive foreboding.I have myself stalled and seeking escape from the destruction (winds often represent the mind or thought processes). I place my trust in others to gather security in my path, the process is to escape danger by taking a higher plane or spiritual path.
we can see this thing getting closer and stuff is swirling around in it, and it's jet black and making that tornado noise...
so, the "tornado" gets closer and as it gets right up near us,
The closer I get to my fears the closer I come to conquering them. (This is the terrifying part of the nightmare before you wake up and are released from it.)
it turns out that it's not a tornado, it's a truck towing this big, funky trailer with some kind of crazy contraption on it, and the gizmo is producing this vortical black cloud because of some kind of malfunction, and the things we see flying off it are parts that are being thrown up into the cloud, and we're all relieved and think it's kind of funny.
All is not as it appears, powerful structures are out of control and actually so lame that they are almost funny, but still possibly dangerous.
It appears there is a manipulation of the mind by dark forces. This is the brainwashing technique of politicians to make humans afraid of one another. It is fabricated. Human beings are on top of the food chain, they are not in a survival of the fittest Darwinian drama. Humans must be convinced that the "other" humans are going to kill them in order for mass mentality to be able to justify committing acts of mass-murder/war. Have you been thinking about the conspiracy theory of scientists being able to create destructive weather patterns? This seems like a strong possibility to me and as an interpretation of this dream. What do you think?
next day, i wake up and turn on the radio, and there are all these people dead in alabama, and general destruction from tornadoes all over the south (including new orleans, from which i've just returned), and tornadoes are pretty rare in the south in the winter.(I'm sticking to the fact that you are a psychic dreamer and the weather conspiracy theory too)
I have myself in complete control. I have myself transitioning through pathways of connection. I am with others, not alone, but independent in anonymity.
and up ahead we see this big, black tornado heading our way. other cars are pulling off, so i do, too, but there's no ditch on the side of the highway (i grew up in tornado country, you're supposed to park your car and lie down in the deepest ditch you can find), so we get out of the car and we start walking up the embankment on the side of the road.
In the future looms darkness, destruction and massive foreboding.I have myself stalled and seeking escape from the destruction (winds often represent the mind or thought processes). I place my trust in others to gather security in my path, the process is to escape danger by taking a higher plane or spiritual path.
we can see this thing getting closer and stuff is swirling around in it, and it's jet black and making that tornado noise...
so, the "tornado" gets closer and as it gets right up near us,
The closer I get to my fears the closer I come to conquering them. (This is the terrifying part of the nightmare before you wake up and are released from it.)
it turns out that it's not a tornado, it's a truck towing this big, funky trailer with some kind of crazy contraption on it, and the gizmo is producing this vortical black cloud because of some kind of malfunction, and the things we see flying off it are parts that are being thrown up into the cloud, and we're all relieved and think it's kind of funny.
All is not as it appears, powerful structures are out of control and actually so lame that they are almost funny, but still possibly dangerous.
It appears there is a manipulation of the mind by dark forces. This is the brainwashing technique of politicians to make humans afraid of one another. It is fabricated. Human beings are on top of the food chain, they are not in a survival of the fittest Darwinian drama. Humans must be convinced that the "other" humans are going to kill them in order for mass mentality to be able to justify committing acts of mass-murder/war. Have you been thinking about the conspiracy theory of scientists being able to create destructive weather patterns? This seems like a strong possibility to me and as an interpretation of this dream. What do you think?
next day, i wake up and turn on the radio, and there are all these people dead in alabama, and general destruction from tornadoes all over the south (including new orleans, from which i've just returned), and tornadoes are pretty rare in the south in the winter.(I'm sticking to the fact that you are a psychic dreamer and the weather conspiracy theory too)
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Whats In Store; Jerri's Dream
Jerri said...
Here's my dream, Stacy. It will help to know that Dayton's was the major department store chain in Minneapolis (where I lived for 28 years and until last year). It's since become Marshall Fields and now Macy's, but it will always be Dayton's to me.
Dreamed I was auditioning for Dayton’s commercial. Worked through the night at CPi on project. Dayton’s had bought the co. and I was helping with move into swanky, swanky new quarters.
I have myself up for judgement for a public display.I expend great amounts of energy to assist or transition to something or space above my average means, an upgrade.
Next day I was in some sort of class and serving a snack for the class. As I worked on putting the snack together (had left some of what I’d prepared behind in running from a tornado)
I am among my peers yet,I am in a lower social class than them, I am their servant and their caretaker at the same time. I give them just enough to keep going. It is similar to tithing or a symbiotic, altruistic act. Humility and helping.
Because I am serving others, I leave some things out, or become forgetful as there is a powerful whirlwind of thoughts bearing down on me and I have to balance these thoughts and my own work with helping others.
I realized it was time I was supposed to be at the audition.
I am pressed for time; I am putting myself into the judgement arena.
Ran there, no make up, threw on my clothes as I ran, and didn’t have all of what I’d planned to wear. Missing accessories and shoes I wanted but had the basics—my plain black dress. Old Faithful. Ended up wearing leopard patterned shoes and belt of some sort. Hair was okay but no make up whatsoever.
I have myself moving as fast as I can, honest, incomplete, unplanned,trusting my core self, or what works every time. Absence of superficiality.
The night before I’d come to the attention of the CEO of Dayton’s. In a room full of gorgeous, gorgeous, young, made-up women with clothing and hair to die for, I came to the special attention of the woman in charge. The group went to lunch. We walked there together and I helped her avoid the marshy spots because she was wearing terribly expensive shoes. She talked about the evil necessity of wearing heels. We separated when we got to the restaurant. I felt I should give others a chance to talk with her but from across the room she motioned for me to sit by her. She asked questions and I answered. Couldn't’t contain my enthusiasm over some things like owning props for shoots, etc. She said I was like a comfortable pickup and no one would be intimidated by me but everyone would want me. Girls in room were jealous. One came over and asked if she’d seen correctly, if the leader really had asked me to sit by her.
As unprepared and unplanned as I am, I am noticed or chosen over all of those whom I perceive as being better than me. I am on par with all the beautiful,sparkly new things which I always wished for. I am moving to the ranks of being less than the group, to one with the group, to being powerful in the group. I am always remembering to treat everyone with compassion and understanding what it must be like to walk in their shoes.Although I am unpretentious, I fear others will be jealous of my successes yet I question their perceptions as I still wrestle with my own perception of self worth. (all artists have deep insecurities as they hang naked on a wall)
My answer was that I wasn’t sure. That it had seemed so to me but I was so shocked that I’d taken a place near her rather than right beside her because I couldn’t imagine she’d want me, even thought it seemed that’s what she was saying.
Again, could this honor really be bestowed on insignificant little me?
The girl next to me told me not to worry about it that they all just wished they were me. I looked at this young, beautiful woman and then down at my old fat self and couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
I am in the midst of a whirlwind of creativity and have been writing powerful autobiographical pieces and posting excerpts from them on my Blogsite: Reflections From The Pond (see reco. links). This writing is revealing core aspects of who I am in an un-embellished, plain, honest way. I have been receiving alot of positive feedback in my comments from people who I believe are better or more prepared or educated than I am.
It may be that there are some "higher ups" in the writing world or publishing world who are giving you some feedback that you are surprised by or feel un-entitled to such praise. This is wrestling with the belief in the wonderfulness of you.
Thank you for sending this and your writing is fabulous.
Here's my dream, Stacy. It will help to know that Dayton's was the major department store chain in Minneapolis (where I lived for 28 years and until last year). It's since become Marshall Fields and now Macy's, but it will always be Dayton's to me.
Dreamed I was auditioning for Dayton’s commercial. Worked through the night at CPi on project. Dayton’s had bought the co. and I was helping with move into swanky, swanky new quarters.
I have myself up for judgement for a public display.I expend great amounts of energy to assist or transition to something or space above my average means, an upgrade.
Next day I was in some sort of class and serving a snack for the class. As I worked on putting the snack together (had left some of what I’d prepared behind in running from a tornado)
I am among my peers yet,I am in a lower social class than them, I am their servant and their caretaker at the same time. I give them just enough to keep going. It is similar to tithing or a symbiotic, altruistic act. Humility and helping.
Because I am serving others, I leave some things out, or become forgetful as there is a powerful whirlwind of thoughts bearing down on me and I have to balance these thoughts and my own work with helping others.
I realized it was time I was supposed to be at the audition.
I am pressed for time; I am putting myself into the judgement arena.
Ran there, no make up, threw on my clothes as I ran, and didn’t have all of what I’d planned to wear. Missing accessories and shoes I wanted but had the basics—my plain black dress. Old Faithful. Ended up wearing leopard patterned shoes and belt of some sort. Hair was okay but no make up whatsoever.
I have myself moving as fast as I can, honest, incomplete, unplanned,trusting my core self, or what works every time. Absence of superficiality.
The night before I’d come to the attention of the CEO of Dayton’s. In a room full of gorgeous, gorgeous, young, made-up women with clothing and hair to die for, I came to the special attention of the woman in charge. The group went to lunch. We walked there together and I helped her avoid the marshy spots because she was wearing terribly expensive shoes. She talked about the evil necessity of wearing heels. We separated when we got to the restaurant. I felt I should give others a chance to talk with her but from across the room she motioned for me to sit by her. She asked questions and I answered. Couldn't’t contain my enthusiasm over some things like owning props for shoots, etc. She said I was like a comfortable pickup and no one would be intimidated by me but everyone would want me. Girls in room were jealous. One came over and asked if she’d seen correctly, if the leader really had asked me to sit by her.
As unprepared and unplanned as I am, I am noticed or chosen over all of those whom I perceive as being better than me. I am on par with all the beautiful,sparkly new things which I always wished for. I am moving to the ranks of being less than the group, to one with the group, to being powerful in the group. I am always remembering to treat everyone with compassion and understanding what it must be like to walk in their shoes.Although I am unpretentious, I fear others will be jealous of my successes yet I question their perceptions as I still wrestle with my own perception of self worth. (all artists have deep insecurities as they hang naked on a wall)
My answer was that I wasn’t sure. That it had seemed so to me but I was so shocked that I’d taken a place near her rather than right beside her because I couldn’t imagine she’d want me, even thought it seemed that’s what she was saying.
Again, could this honor really be bestowed on insignificant little me?
The girl next to me told me not to worry about it that they all just wished they were me. I looked at this young, beautiful woman and then down at my old fat self and couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
I am in the midst of a whirlwind of creativity and have been writing powerful autobiographical pieces and posting excerpts from them on my Blogsite: Reflections From The Pond (see reco. links). This writing is revealing core aspects of who I am in an un-embellished, plain, honest way. I have been receiving alot of positive feedback in my comments from people who I believe are better or more prepared or educated than I am.
It may be that there are some "higher ups" in the writing world or publishing world who are giving you some feedback that you are surprised by or feel un-entitled to such praise. This is wrestling with the belief in the wonderfulness of you.
Thank you for sending this and your writing is fabulous.
Frozen Lake; Rick Dreams
rick said...
okay, this has happened twice in the last month, and i don't have what you'd call any sort of psychic abilities, so I'll let you explain it...
#1) about a month ago. i have this dream where
I'm watching a guy in a plane driving the plane around on a frozen lake.
I have myself observing someone much like myself hovering above frozen emotions and feelings.
he's jumping over snow banks and twirling around like mad, and I'm sort of hovering over the scene and the knowledge comes to me that this guy will rent his plane out to people, not to fly, but to sort of just spin around on this frozen lake and it looks like fun (i hate to fly, but the idea of spinning around like crazy sounded okay),
The man who is like me is jumping and moving in a freeing swift and fluid motion and I am hesitating to participate in this freeing anti gravity dance because I have a deep inner awareness of the part of this that I will dislike, but if I pay a price, temporarily, I can, like a corkscrew begin to crack the surface of the frozen feelings and sea of subconscious, not for the purpose of spiritual gain or enlightenment but for the sake of being free from the responsibilities that keep me in my frozen emotional state. In a sense I allow myself to run free in my mind, but i know if I act on my wishes, it will cause me intense pain
so in that dream-like way that these things get done, I'm suddenly talking to my friend mike and asking him if he wants to go in with me to rent the plane. on the lake there are, in addition to the snowbanks the guy is jumping over, all the stuff you'd expect to find on a frozen lake in Maine - fish shacks, trucks, snowmobiles, etc..
I am communicating with (define Mike here: my friend who...)and I question my friend (who is my age and appears healthy but suddenly has a life threatening condition)if he would be willing to enter this temporary vehicle to escape gravity or the heavy stuff that keeps me from experiencing freedom. All the normal, mundane ground vehicles and houses that cannot transcend gravity.
mike says it sure looks like fun, but since he just had open heart surgery (that part's true, quadruple bypass out of the blue, and he's healthier than i am) he didn't feel like he could take all the jiggling.
My friend, who appears similar to me on the outside, or is a part of me, expresses aloud that although he can see there is release and freedom in sight, his heart cannot stand up to the challenge of releasing those frozen feelings, it is too dangerous, the ups and downs and all of the intense vibrations.
END.
Read the bold statements only and determine whether or not this dream may be saying something to you that you had not expected.
well, the next morning, I'm taking my daughter, Celeste, to school, and on Maine public radio comes a story about a guy who just the day before was taking off in a small plane from a snow-covered rural airfield, and he loses a wheel from his plane and ended up running out onto a lake and spinning around, and almost hit some guy's fish shack, and only stopped finally because he ran into a pickup parked on the ice.
Well my friend, perhaps you are creating some other person's reality while you dream. Hey, can you try creating this one? "My friend Stacy has won the jackpot on a mega million lottery, she didn't even purchase a ticket! Amazing!
Thank you for your courage in posting. Love-s
okay, this has happened twice in the last month, and i don't have what you'd call any sort of psychic abilities, so I'll let you explain it...
#1) about a month ago. i have this dream where
I'm watching a guy in a plane driving the plane around on a frozen lake.
I have myself observing someone much like myself hovering above frozen emotions and feelings.
he's jumping over snow banks and twirling around like mad, and I'm sort of hovering over the scene and the knowledge comes to me that this guy will rent his plane out to people, not to fly, but to sort of just spin around on this frozen lake and it looks like fun (i hate to fly, but the idea of spinning around like crazy sounded okay),
The man who is like me is jumping and moving in a freeing swift and fluid motion and I am hesitating to participate in this freeing anti gravity dance because I have a deep inner awareness of the part of this that I will dislike, but if I pay a price, temporarily, I can, like a corkscrew begin to crack the surface of the frozen feelings and sea of subconscious, not for the purpose of spiritual gain or enlightenment but for the sake of being free from the responsibilities that keep me in my frozen emotional state. In a sense I allow myself to run free in my mind, but i know if I act on my wishes, it will cause me intense pain
so in that dream-like way that these things get done, I'm suddenly talking to my friend mike and asking him if he wants to go in with me to rent the plane. on the lake there are, in addition to the snowbanks the guy is jumping over, all the stuff you'd expect to find on a frozen lake in Maine - fish shacks, trucks, snowmobiles, etc..
I am communicating with (define Mike here: my friend who...)and I question my friend (who is my age and appears healthy but suddenly has a life threatening condition)if he would be willing to enter this temporary vehicle to escape gravity or the heavy stuff that keeps me from experiencing freedom. All the normal, mundane ground vehicles and houses that cannot transcend gravity.
mike says it sure looks like fun, but since he just had open heart surgery (that part's true, quadruple bypass out of the blue, and he's healthier than i am) he didn't feel like he could take all the jiggling.
My friend, who appears similar to me on the outside, or is a part of me, expresses aloud that although he can see there is release and freedom in sight, his heart cannot stand up to the challenge of releasing those frozen feelings, it is too dangerous, the ups and downs and all of the intense vibrations.
END.
Read the bold statements only and determine whether or not this dream may be saying something to you that you had not expected.
well, the next morning, I'm taking my daughter, Celeste, to school, and on Maine public radio comes a story about a guy who just the day before was taking off in a small plane from a snow-covered rural airfield, and he loses a wheel from his plane and ended up running out onto a lake and spinning around, and almost hit some guy's fish shack, and only stopped finally because he ran into a pickup parked on the ice.
Well my friend, perhaps you are creating some other person's reality while you dream. Hey, can you try creating this one? "My friend Stacy has won the jackpot on a mega million lottery, she didn't even purchase a ticket! Amazing!
Thank you for your courage in posting. Love-s
Friday, March 09, 2007
Chocolate Falling Everywhere
Thank you Michelle O Neil of Full-Soul Ahead for submitting a dream of chocolate:
"last night I dreamt of chocolate.
Cupcakes with melted chocolate for frosting,>(complete and extreme sweetness)
and I was dropping handfuls of resees cups and hershey's chocolate into the melted chocolate frosting,>(co-creator of this richness, this decadent extreme, forbidden, I would assume, in your lifestyle.)
swirling them around.
I woke up before I got even one damn bite!>( some part of you may be feeling as though it is not getting it's fair share of all the sweetness you are a co-creator of and participant in.
This meaning could be interpreted differently for you if you were not aware of the fact that you wouldn't be eating the chocolate in the dream.
If everything was groovy and delicious with all that chocolate swirling around, the dream would be commenting on your feeling of satisfaction with all of the sweetness around you.
Also, you very likely are pre-menstrual and in need of some Calcim, Magnesium and Zinc compound. )
"last night I dreamt of chocolate.
Cupcakes with melted chocolate for frosting,>(complete and extreme sweetness)
and I was dropping handfuls of resees cups and hershey's chocolate into the melted chocolate frosting,>(co-creator of this richness, this decadent extreme, forbidden, I would assume, in your lifestyle.)
swirling them around.
I woke up before I got even one damn bite!>( some part of you may be feeling as though it is not getting it's fair share of all the sweetness you are a co-creator of and participant in.
This meaning could be interpreted differently for you if you were not aware of the fact that you wouldn't be eating the chocolate in the dream.
If everything was groovy and delicious with all that chocolate swirling around, the dream would be commenting on your feeling of satisfaction with all of the sweetness around you.
Also, you very likely are pre-menstrual and in need of some Calcim, Magnesium and Zinc compound. )
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